It looks like I may have a answer to my dilema
It involves two pivots and a helper column
Convert to a table as its easier to work with
use an awkward but small formula to decide what to show as all others
turn off auto sort and do it manualy or all others may appear in the middle rather than at the end.
Ok ots clumsy and there are wizards out there that can do better, but this is my attempt and it's available for downloading to laugh at or improve.