Stupid Questions

[Smitty]

From an e-mail this morning:

"Smitty! Your file is broken! I just opened it and this is what I got:

ÐÏ à¡± á > þÿ þÿÿÿ, ETC.

EDITED to fix the text fubar extending the page

Can you fix it?! I need that information now!"

Wondering WTF?, I walk over to see...

"Open it in Excel, not WORD."

Or my Boss:

"Smitty, your file is all ****ED up! What did you do wrong?! I can't do anything with it!" (Not that I want him to do anything with, or more to the point do, anyway).

"Dude, you opened it with Lotus Not(s) VIEW. Try OPEN..."

That happens daily...I am getting tired of him trying to open the CFO's Lotus 1-2-3 files through Not(s) though. After several YEARS it's gotten a wee bit old: Save to Desktop-->Open with Excel...

Smitty

At least dealing with ID10T's, I have some modicum of job security...

Have a great Memorial Day weekend y'all!

Smitty

 

[doco]

I still see this occansionally: making calculations on a 10 key adding machine and putting the results in Excel.

 

[erik.van.geit]

Smitty,

are you sure your boss isn't visiting this forum ?
or is your avatar and nickname providing enough security ?

 

[Smitty]

Smitty,

are you sure your boss isn't visiting this forum ?
or is your avatar and nickname providing enough security ?

Dude,

He couldn't figure out how to surf ****, let alone how to get here.

Smitty

 

[Greg Truby]

...Dude,
He couldn't figure out how to surf ****...
-Smitty

Daµµit, Smitty! I almost choked on my coffee as I was taking a sip when I read that! Hope yer happy, this was a clean shirt.

 

[Joe4]

Here is another good one I got.

Someone told me that they were having trouble converting a text file to Excel. They said they are just getting gibberish. I told them that opening a text file in Excel should invoke the Wizard, and just follow that to split your fields. They said they weren't getting any Wizard.

Okay, now I began to get a little suspicous, so I am asked them to show me how they convert a file. They went out to Windows Explorer, located their text file (foo.txt) and renamed it to foo.xls and then opened it.

If only it were that easy to convert files by simply changing their extensions!

 

[doco]

Or maybe they should learn to read a hex-dump...

 

[Clementine]

All this makes me wonder how much our IT folks laugh at idiots like me.

 

[milesUK]

Not strictly on-topic but I took a call to look at one of 'my' sheets that "was not working"; no more info.

Made the 3 minute journey to requestors desk to find it wasn't one of mine at all! It even had the true authors name emblazoned across it who was sat a couple of desks away.

"Well, can't you fix it"?

I calmly walked away.

 

[doco]

Or you know you're an Excel junkie, when a co-worker asks you the same question for the umpteenth time (in a month) and you gladly go to their aid (well maybe not-so-gladly; but you go)